Resurrection Folly
by Catie-brie
Summary: Ever wonder what Yuusuke would be like as a girl? Well here's your chance to find out when his third death and a mistake on Koenma's part puts him in just that situation. [Rated R for language and content] [Main pairing Yuusuke and Keiko] [Dead]
1. The offer

Heya everyone, it's been a long time since I've updated, ne? Well sorta, I did write a Three Little Pigs story, kinda funny. But that's beside the point. Anyways I've got a few notes, and then we'll be done here.

At the beginning _demo_ means but. Towards the end I used the term bluette, I'm pretty positive that isn't a real word, but you'll just have to deal with that.

Er, well this isn't a shonen-ai like most of my work, but next week I should have out a story that is.

**Warnings/Disclaimers—**I do not own Yuu Yuu Hakusho, if I did all hell'd break loose, just keep that in mind and the fact that this is rated for sexual humor/content and language…

Well without further ado, the story—

Ningenkai-Urameshi Household, 2003

**-Flash Back-**

"_You don't have to go, Yuusuke," Keiko muttered hopelessly starting up the nine-years-old argument all over again, much to Yuusuke's dismay. He groaned, loudly too, before turning around to face his wife exasperatedly, a half filled bag sprawled haphazardly on the bed behind him._

"_Keiko," He whined in a very unbecoming way for a man of his age. "If I've told you once, I've told you a million and one times, I'll be fine. You should be used to this by now anyways."_

"_Demo…" Keiko protested weakly, but Yuusuke would have none of that. Quickly he claimed her lips in a chaste kiss, effectively silencing his fretful wife._

"_No buts, I promise I'll be all right, 'side K'rama will be there to make sure I don't lose my ass doing something stupid." Yuusuke grinned goofily, placing his hands on Keiko's shoulders reassuringly, not that it was actually reassuring._

"_Last time I left you in Kurama's care, you both came home with no shirts and as pale as ghosts," the brunette pointed out skeptically, making Yuusuke laugh nervously._

"_You got a point there- still can't figure that night out either…."_

"_Hehehe, leave it to you to screw something up and not remember it." There was a short pause, then Keiko continued: "Fine I'll leave you alone, but you have to promise me something."_

"_I always do."_

"_You have to promise to come back from the tournament in time for our child's birth, and I mean for you to come back in one piece. And please, please, please don't do anything rash." She grabbed one of her husband's hands and placed it on her swollen belly for a stronger effect._

_Yuusuke thought about it for a moment, more for a dramatic effect than anything, and then replied: "I promise."_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Yuusuke watched in horror as his opponent jerked around and shoved her long, jagged dagger straight through his stomach. _This wasn't supposed to happen; I gave up- you can't attack someone after they give up. _He thought to himself bitterly. There was a short pause where everything seemed to stop, then he gasped out in pain as the sharp, sickening crack of bone filled his ears and showed the starting point of the dagger's trail through his chest; heart, lungs, ribs, and muscle all gave way to the blade as it carved its way through Yuusuke's body. Then everything went black, and his body failed.

**-Flash Back-**

_"Welcome to the semi-finals of the forth triennial Makai Tournament!" Koto cried cheerfully from her box seat above the stadium. There was a roar of cheering before she was able to continue: "Remaining with us today are Yuusuke, Yomi, Ayumi, Kurama, Enki and his wife Koko! The pairings as decided by lot are as follows: Yuusuke and Yomi, Ayumi and Koko, Kurama and Enki. Now, let the blood fest begin!"_

_There was another immense wave of cheering that took several minutes to die down, and then the fighting began. For the first time Yuusuke beat Yomi, but he was completely drained of energy and could barely stand when the referee called the match to an end. Enki beat Kurama, and Ayumi beat Koko. Nobody died, although Koko came very close to it because Ayumi seemed pissed at, in her words, '…_beating someone as pathetically weak…_' as the former ruler's wife. But since Koko had admitted defeat, she got to see another day. The next battle was against Yuusuke and Ayumi—who ever won this one would go up against Enki to decide the next ruler of Makai, and it started immediately._

"_Now, let the next battle begin!"_

_Yuusuke and Ayumi stood face to face on the giant plant that made up the battle arena, each waiting for the other to attack. The referee glided the flying eye she used to relay the action back to the stadium, about. She was trying to get a good angle to catch the up-coming fight, so that the audience members would be please. But then Yuusuke's posture suddenly slackened and he smiled apologetically; Ayumi growled, knowing what was to come next._

"_I'm sorry, but I can barely stand, let alone fight- I yield." Although he couldn't hear it, the audience below was jeering madly. The tournament, all things considered, had been the most unremarkable tournament thus far; barely any bloodshed, no death, and minimal threats had been what had made it up. But when the referee had called the match to a close and announced Ayumi the winner-by-default, things had gone down hill._

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

She watched in sadistic contentment as her blade kissed flesh and bit through bone, before crushing it in a ferocious trail of gore leading all the way to it's victim's jaw line. He was already dead, the way his body stood only because of the blade shoved deep within him was a sure sign of that, but Ayumi felt the need to deal one, final blow. Drawing her blade out with a sickening _shink, _the girl watched the body of her victim fall to its knees, and before the rest of the corpse could follow suit she swung her blade across its neck. The jagged blade caught on the spinal cord briefly, then, with a downward saw-like motion, the spine cracked and gave way, along with the rest of the dismembered skull.

"Pathetic little bitch," she growled spitting on the head disrespectfully. She didn't move when the tournament 'guards' grabbed her, she didn't flinch when she was told her punishment for her actions; she only paid attention to the dead eyes looking up at her— laughing at them cruelly. She felt a sharp sting in her arm and soon everything went black, her lips still twisted in a grotesque smile.

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_How could this happen to me? _he thought to himself as he floated aimlessly above the stadium of jeering demons. _I made a promise, hell I even gave up my pride to keep it, yet I _still _end up dying!_

The crowd had quieted, and during that time Koto chose to speak, and she sounded oddly choked up: "And so ends a great life." It was all she could manage, but it still made an impact.

_I didn't know she liked me, _Yuusuke mused, _or thought that life in general had any great meaning. I guess you can't judge a book by its cover. _The ghost form floated down closer to the audience, trying to find a familiar face; he did.

Kurama stood stalk-still, his hands fisted so tightly by his sides that they bled. His face was a mask of anguish, hate, sorrow, regret, disgust, and his emerald green eyes showed all of this like a tumultuous slide show, each image battling for dominance, but he just stood there, alone in a sea of enraged, yet oddly unfeeling, creatures.

Yuusuke felt a pang of guilt in the area where his heart should have been, but wasn't. Not only had he left Keiko after promising he would be careful, but all of his closest friends as well. How would they take this? It was his third time to die, would they take it seriously? Yes, they would have to. No one can come back to life three times in a row, it just didn't happen. Sure they would probably be in denial for a while, but it would hit home, he knew it would. Would they try and make Koenma bring him back? Would they get mad when he told them he couldn't? He hoped they didn't. Koenma didn't deserve it, no, not at all.

His train of thought was broken when he felt a familiar presence behind him, and he turned in midair to face her. Botan looked so sad, it was obvious she had been crying, but she tried to smile for him.

"Hey Botan, guess it's time for me to see the toddler one last time," he jested halfheartedly. Yuusuke hated seeing her so sad, he hated seeing anyone close to him sad.

"Oh Yuusuke!" She sobbed, zooming over to him a little wobbly on her oar before pulling him into a wet hug. "It's finally happened, I didn't think I'd have to guide you so soon! W-why?"

"Please Botan, calm down," he said frantically. "I don't want anyone to cry over me. 'sides we might get lost if you keep sobbing like this." I smile at her, hoping to at least cheer her up a bit.

She looked up at him, her mouth twitching into what could poorly pass as a smile.

"There, that's a little better. So, do you have a place for me this time?" He asked float over to the rear of her oar.

"Of course we do," she replied softly. "Now hang on tight, we don't want a repeat of last time." Yuusuke chuckled and straddled the oar tightly. Before they sipped off, he managed to look down one more time, hoping to catch a glimpse of his redheaded friend, but he was already gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

They crossed the River Styx after about half an hour of flying. It seemed that it was harder for Botan to access the portal to Reikai from Makai, and her current emotional state wasn't helping, but they made it nonetheless. Dismounting from the oar, both Botan and Yuusuke made their way to the Gates of Judgment quickly. The Ferry Girl activated the intercom, muttered a few words into it, and soon the large doors swung inward.

"Come on, Yuusuke, Koenma's waiting." Botan turned and grabbed Yuusuke by the arm. When he looked at her questioningly, she smiled and replied: "You remember how it is, it's really easy to get lost, 'specially since Koenma's office was moved."

_At least she's smiling now _Yuusuke thought as he chuckled and let the bluette drag him through the throng of paper-laden oni. It didn't take them long to reach the large double doors that marked Koenma's new office, and when they pushed them open they were greeted with a very tired toddler.

"Ah, Yuusuke," Koenma greeted warily. "Botan can you leave us? The others will need to know."

"Yes sir," Botan turned to leave, but thought better of it and, catching Yuusuke off guard, grabbed him in a bone-crushing (if he had had bones) hug. "We'll miss you Yuusuke, take care." And with that she left.

"Well, I guess you were right when you said our next meeting would be a helluva lot more formal," The second-time-ghost, third-time-dead man jested once again trying to lighten the mood.

"Same old Yuusuke," Koenma replied with a smile. "How've things been?"

"Same as always, 'cept Keiko's seven months pregnant, and I guess I'm dead," Yuusuke answered taking a seat. "So, where 'm I headed? Heaven, hell?"

"Actually I need to speak with you about that—"

"Don't tell me I don't have a place this time? Botan already said you did!"

"No, no Yuusuke, that's not it at all, quite the contrary," Koenma said giving Yuusuke an almost vulpine grin, one that belonged more on Youko than on the demi-god. "I wunna make you an offer, there'll be no strings attached."

"What kind?"

"How would you like a third chance at life?"

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_Eh, I'm sorry for how graphic this chapter is, but it had to be put in, that it did._

_Well, please drop off a review, flame whatever, I'll take it : )_

'_Til next time-_

_-Catie-brie_


	2. The Mistake

**Chapter two**

The mistake

"How would you like a third chance at life?" Yuusuke mouth fell open in shock.

"You can't be serious. Wait, how can I, I don't even have a body to go back to?" It seems that the normal reaction to being told something good is to deny it, and that was exactly what Yuusuke was doing. Koenma's grin widened and turned even more vulpine that Yuusuke was surprised that he was staring at the demi-god and not the silver-haired Youko.

"I can, but there is a slight catch."

"You said no strings attached," Yuusuke pointed out suspiciously.

"Well, I meant you didn't have to repay me, or anything like that," Koenma was quick to explain. "But sense you don't have a body, you'll have to put up with a Temporary Resurrection Body Trial."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"And why is that?" By the gods, Yuusuke hated it when Koenma talked to him like that, it always meant trouble.

"Why the hell would I like it?" He glared, just waiting to be contradicted—he was.

"Well, here's how it works….

* * *

The clouds rumbled threateningly as people shuffled around the Urameshi household purposelessly. It was the day of Yuusuke's wake; all of his friends including his Makai friends disguised as humans, his aging mother, and other acquaintances of the former detective were gathered there to pay their respects. The remains of his body had been burned and the ashes tossed in both Ningenkai and Makai, completely taking the meaning away from the wake, but they held it anyways, if only to give everyone a chance to pay their respects.

"My boy, oh my boy," Atsuko moaned pitifully. Keiko knelt limply beside the broken woman, herself in such a state of sorrow she was unable to cry. In one corner of the room Hiei stood with his head bowed in respect, but that was all he allowed of his sorrow to show through. Kurama stood close to him, his eyes red with tears, but at that moment his eyes held none, only a sort of resigned defeat. Everyone knew there wasn't a chance for Yuusuke to come back, for that he needed a body, and that had been mutilated, burned and scattered every which way.

It was a sad day indeed and Mother Nature herself showed her sorrow in the only way she could.

The clouds cracked and rain poured down thickly, the tears of the gods drenched the earth, and forks of lightning lit the sky.

* * *

It was still raining when a young American female woke up in the middle of a park in Japan with a book of spells in her hand. Her strawberry blonde bangs were plastered to her face from the rain, and dirty blonde to her neck. Confused hazel eyes took in her surroundings and soon she began to talk to herself, in fluent Japanese.

"Where am I?" she looked down at herself her palm outstretched in front of her, "Who am I? Do I have a name? And damn it, what am I doing in a park, especially in this rain?" She stood up wobbly and brushed the debris that stuck to her soaked blue jeans and black hoody.

As her balance returned to her she decided to find a nice dry area to think over her predicament. It didn't take her long to find a road, it felt as if her body knew just where to go without her mind knowing at all. Across the street an apartment complex caught her attention and she rushed across the street and through the parking lot to get a closer look.

People, lots of people, were gathered on the third balcony of the first building. They all looked so sad, it made the girl's heart clench painfully. Something pulled at her, willed her to join the group and see what was making everyone so unhappy, as if it had something, everything, to do with her. She trotted to the iron staircase and trotted up it three steps at a time, her long legs straining to reach each step, but refusing to move any slower.

As she reached the top, several people looked over at her. The looked startled, confused… familiar… why did they look so familiar? She shook her head to get the feeling to go away, if only for a moment, but it just grew stronger. She moved through the crowd to the front door, even more unhappy figures met her gaze. She tentatively made her way into the room shyly looking around at the other people.

"Excuse me miss, do I know you?" A tall carrot toped man asked her as she passed him.

"I-I don't think so, do you?" She stuttered with a start. He gave her an odd look and she smiled in a confused manner.

"Do you know where you are?" He asked bringing a hand up to his eye to wipe away a stray tear.

"No, but I felt like I needed to be here, like I belonged here." She didn't expect him to understand but by the look he gave her, he did.

"This is the wake for Urameshi Yuusuke, many people felt that kind of odd attachment to him. Over there is Urameshi Keiko, his wife and Urameshi Atsuko, his ma, if you want to pay respects there the people to go to." He said all of this while pointing towards two sobbing brunette women.

"Thank you…?"

"Kuwabara," he replied with a bow.

"Thank you Kuwabara." She bowed back before moving over to the women and getting down on her knees she bowed to each. "I'm sorry for your loses Urameshi-san, he seems like he was a good man."

They looked at her quizzically before the younger brunette chose to speak: "Did you know him?"

"No ma'am, I just felt the need to pay my respects is all," she replied softly.

"What is your name?" The other asked hoarsely.

"I…I don't know, I don't think I have one."

"Thank you anyways." The bi-blonde headed girl bowed again then rose to her feet. As she was getting up she noticed a picture surrounded by white roses. She looked closely at it and gasped as a million images hit her at once. "Oh shit," she managed to curse before falling backwards from a strong case of vertigo. Strong hands caught her around the waist and she glanced up to see Kuwabara looking at her worriedly.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine just a little dizzy spell is all." She smiled before squirming free. "It was nice to meet you, but I have to go." Before Kuwabara could protest she was sprinting out of the room and down the stairs at a speed far to fast for a human.

* * *

"KOENMA! GET YOU PUNY ASS OUT HERE!" The blonde American girl from Yuusuke's wake screamed as she banged roughly on the double doors marking the demi-god's office.

"What the hell is going on here?" Koenma demanded pulling open the doors. He jumped out of the way when one of those pounding fists nearly came into contact with his face. He was in his teenage form, probably on his way to do some Ningenkai work. "Who the hell are you?"

"What do you mean 'who the hell' am I? Think hard about all the things you did today, and all the things that could go wrong and you will know who I was!" She screeched. Koenma's eyes widened in realization, and his face broke out into a large smile.

"Don't you dare laugh you fucking pacifier junky!" She hissed pushing roughly on his shoulders, too bad that just pushed him over the edge of control.

"Jeez Yuusuke, you turn out well as a girl," he snickered completely ignoring the nasty glare he was getting from the girl.

"Shut up, this is all your damn fault!" She hissed.

"I did tell you there was a chance that something could go wrong," Koenma looked as if he was greatly enjoying the torment he was putting the girl through.

"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THIS COULD HAPPEN!"

"Don't flip out, it's only temporary."

"How the hell is this temporary? She demanded gesticulating wildly at her body.

"You really need to pay more attention when I explain things to you. Remember, you're going through a Temporary Resurrection Body Trial, so the body's temporary."

"How can that be? My body's gone and my soul is in an American's body–a girl's nonetheless!"

"Can't you ever listen to me when I talk?" Koenma asked exasperatedly. "Look, since you have all of your memories and your soul is aged and familiar with you old body, the body you are in will begin to mold into your original form. It's as simple as that. There is however, one thing you should know."

"Spit it out, toddler."

"It could take one to three years for the whole transformation to take place, and during that time no one can know who you are—"

"And why not?" The girl demanded angrily.

"Do you know how confused it would make everyone? It's just better they don't know—I know what I'm talking about so don't argue," Koenma added before the girl could argue. "Hiei will eventually find out if he stays in Ningenkai for awhile, so you might as well tell him and hope he doesn't tell anyone else."

"The only person he'd ever tell is Kurama. So what am I going to do, just roam around Japan for three years, then suddenly pop up on everyone's doorstep and yell 'surprise! I'm back from hell guys'?"

"No, of course not. You'll be living at the temple as a refugee from Makai, hope you have fun."

* * *

And here ends another lovely chapter! I didn't get nearly as many reviews as I hoped, but that's okay. I would like to thank Cherry-Lipz09 and SnakeDude100 for dropping one off, it means a lot.

Oh, well, please C&C, and I will see you next week!

-Catie-brie


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